An Awkward Conversation.

Boy: Just call her. Get it over with. Quick, like taking off a band-aid. And, be cool. Who the heck says ‘be cool’ nowadays, anyway? Now, where did I write down this girl’s number… This bloody maid, if you tell her a million times not to touch stuff, wohi karna hai!?

*Searches here and there*

Aha! Here it is! How’d it get here… lounging between the remote and the ashtray? A smoke to ease pre-call stress? Nah, post-call smoke type situation lag rahi hai yeh. Okay, here goes nothing!

*Inhales deeply and dials*

Boy: Hello?

Girl: Yes, hello.

Boy: Is this Anita?

Girl: Yes, this is her. Who is this?

Boy: Hi! I’m Ashish. Your mother and my mom spoke sometime this week about an alliance and I just wanted to get to speak to you before we decide to take things further…

Girl: Yeah, my mom mentioned something earlier today. How are you? Arre yaar, not another of those matrimonial site losers. Why do I have to go through this torture? I just want to get a job and enjoy myself…

Boy: Good! How are you?

Girl: I’m good as well.

Awkward Pause

(Pause)

(Pause)

(Pause)

Boy: So… What do you do? Are you working somewhere?

Girl: No, well… I was working for an MNC but, I recently quit so… I’m kind of in between jobs right now… Are you working or studying right now?

Boy: Yeah, I work for a bank. *Clears throatStandard Chartered Bank actually, I just got promoted last week so… Things are pretty hectic and there’s a lot of work to be done… It’s like I’m a mini CEO or something, hahahahe.

Girl: Seems arrogant… What the hell is a mini CEO… Like Mini Me or something?… Oh My God, I hope he’s not bald! AAAAAh, mujhe ganje se shaadi nahin karni…Mujhe shaadi hi kyun karni pad rahi hai…

Girl: Oh, that’s great!

Boy: Yup! Yessss! *Hi-Fives, err… Space?* I’ve made a good impression, ‘Mini CEO’! Hahaa! Good one, dude! Gotta use more of that scrumptious li’l phrase from now on!

Boy: Yeah, I landed this job right after my MBA, which I did from NMIMS, Mumbai. What about you? You’re an M.A., right?

Girl: Yeah, in Mass Communications… Lady Irwin, DU.

Boy: Cool!

(Pause)

*Awkward fidgeting at both ends*

Boy: So… what sun sign are you? Aur kya boloon?

Girl: I’m a Virgo

Boy: Oh!! I’m a Virgo, too! Virgos are the best, I tell you. They’re smart and creative and they are good looking and…uh… they’re practical and calm and…uh… romantic…

Girl: What a cheapo!!! Oh, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that as well…

Boy: Yeah… astrology is fun and, and so useful!

Girl: Um, yeah. And, it helps in so many ways…

Boy: So, do you like watching movies? I like action flicks a lot!

Girl: Yeah, I like watching movies…

Boy: Great! I just saw ‘Elysium’. Matt Damon was awesome in it! Did you see any new flick recently?

Girl: Not really, I’m just really busy with looking for work and stuff…

Girl: *Checks the time* Oh, it’s 8:30 PM already? I gotta go, I have to make dinner. Chalo! Finally, I can hang up.

Boy: Sure! By the way, can you send me your FB link? I’ll send you mine as well… We can know more about each other that way. My e-mail ID is funkymunky@gheemail.com

Girl: Yeah, mine is dunkyshunky@chcheemail.com, I’ll send my FB page’s link to you.

Boy: Got it! Okay, thanks! I’ll send my FB page’s link to you as well. Nice talking to you! Bye!

Girl: Likewise, bye.

Boy: Well… thoda aur jaanane mein kya jaata hai? What’s the big deal in getting to know her a little more? Her voice sounded pretty mellifluous, actually.

Girl: What a loser! How arrogant and so pretentious! But, I suppose I should be polite and send the link-shink. Let’s see…

Things You End Up Doing On A Lazy Day

Okay, so today happens to be a pretty Sun-less, windy day (Yaaay! Fall’s here!) and as it happens, I’ve spent the whole, entire day being jobless.

This doesn’t mean I ain’t got stuff to do. Oh, no, no. I got deadlines, beb. But, I’ve just spectacularly whiled away the day and, this list of things below is further testament. So, read on, amigos:-

1. Watched ‘Hysteria’ – FYI, totes-amazing movie, y’all!

2. Watched the latest episode (partially, still saving the end for tonight) of ‘White Collar

3. Have been channeling my inner gay guy today hence, the tone of the blog-post

4. Watched this video… TWICE

5. Downloaded loadsa songs

6. Made pasta. Started watching some shit on YT, messed up pasta, spent the next half hour fixing pasta

7. Ate pasta. It was gooooood. No, really. It was. (Once I scraped off the burnt bits, it tasted scrumptious.)

8. Drank ‘x’ glasses of Iced Tea – with lemon, with allspice, with IDUNNOJUSTPUTTHISINTOTHEGLASSIT’LLTASTEAWESOMEYO

9. Read some blog-posts

10. Gossiped with folx (folks)

11. Coined new slang term – folx (FYI, folks)

12. Made coffee. Put too much coffee in. Still drinking said coffee…

13. Stared outside at the yellowing trees with LDR’s ‘Summertime Sadness’ on full blast

14. Watched ‘How To’ videos and read some ‘How To’ blog-posts

15. Ate some more pasta (post-scraping burnt bits off, of course)

16. Wrote this blog-post after starting it waaaaay back (like when it was not dark and stuff outside)

17. Panicking a little about tomorrow but, YOLO

18. Finally used ‘YOLO’ in the douche-y way it ought to be used

19. Still staring (squinting, really) at the yellowing trees outside but, with Aerosmith’sCrazy‘ on

20. FINALLY, posting this list after editing it (W/e, I know there’s not much to edit but, a 20 point list > 19 point list. Deal with it.)

So, how do you guys while away awesomely lazy days like these? And, how do you motivate yourself to get any work done at all on such days?

Note: Finished work for tomorrow, feeling much better now!