Boy: Just call her. Get it over with. Quick, like taking off a band-aid. And, be cool. Who the heck says ‘be cool’ nowadays, anyway? Now, where did I write down this girl’s number… This bloody maid, if you tell her a million times not to touch stuff, wohi karna hai!?
*Searches here and there*
Aha! Here it is! How’d it get here… lounging between the remote and the ashtray? A smoke to ease pre-call stress? Nah, post-call smoke type situation lag rahi hai yeh. Okay, here goes nothing!
*Inhales deeply and dials*
Girl: Yes, hello.
Boy: Is this Anita?
Girl: Yes, this is her. Who is this?
Boy: Hi! I’m Ashish. Your mother and my mom spoke sometime this week about an alliance and I just wanted to get to speak to you before we decide to take things further…
Girl: Yeah, my mom mentioned something earlier today. How are you? Arre yaar, not another of those matrimonial site losers. Why do I have to go through this torture? I just want to get a job and enjoy myself…
Boy: Good! How are you?
Girl: I’m good as well.
Boy: So… What do you do? Are you working somewhere?
Girl: No, well… I was working for an MNC but, I recently quit so… I’m kind of in between jobs right now… Are you working or studying right now?
Boy: Yeah, I work for a bank. *Clears throat* Standard Chartered Bank actually, I just got promoted last week so… Things are pretty hectic and there’s a lot of work to be done… It’s like I’m a mini CEO or something, hahahahe.
Girl: Seems arrogant… What the hell is a mini CEO… Like Mini Me or something?… Oh My God, I hope he’s not bald! AAAAAh, mujhe ganje se shaadi nahin karni…Mujhe shaadi hi kyun karni pad rahi hai…
Girl: Oh, that’s great!
Boy: Yup! Yessss! *Hi-Fives, err… Space?* I’ve made a good impression, ‘Mini CEO’! Hahaa! Good one, dude! Gotta use more of that scrumptious li’l phrase from now on!
Girl: Yeah, in Mass Communications… Lady Irwin, DU.
*Awkward fidgeting at both ends*
Boy: So… what sun sign are you? Aur kya boloon?
Girl: I’m a Virgo…
Boy: Oh!! I’m a Virgo, too! Virgos are the best, I tell you. They’re smart and creative and they are good looking and…uh… they’re practical and calm and…uh… romantic…
Girl: What a cheapo!!! Oh, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that as well…
Boy: Yeah… astrology is fun and, and so useful!
Girl: Um, yeah. And, it helps in so many ways…
Boy: So, do you like watching movies? I like action flicks a lot!
Girl: Yeah, I like watching movies…
Boy: Great! I just saw ‘Elysium’. Matt Damon was awesome in it! Did you see any new flick recently?
Girl: Not really, I’m just really busy with looking for work and stuff…
Girl: *Checks the time* Oh, it’s 8:30 PM already? I gotta go, I have to make dinner. Chalo! Finally, I can hang up.
Boy: Sure! By the way, can you send me your FB link? I’ll send you mine as well… We can know more about each other that way. My e-mail ID is firstname.lastname@example.org
Girl: Yeah, mine is email@example.com, I’ll send my FB page’s link to you.
Boy: Got it! Okay, thanks! I’ll send my FB page’s link to you as well. Nice talking to you! Bye!
Girl: Likewise, bye.
Boy: Well… thoda aur jaanane mein kya jaata hai? What’s the big deal in getting to know her a little more? Her voice sounded pretty mellifluous, actually.
Girl: What a loser! How arrogant and so pretentious! But, I suppose I should be polite and send the link-shink. Let’s see…